“If this is happening to you here, wait until you get to England, Regner.”
This is what my mother told me when I called her up this afternoon to tell her about all the trouble I was going through, trying to get myself something to eat. See, today I decided I was going to spend the whole day at our beach apartment (and no, I’m not rich people.). In the afternoon I got hungry, because poor little Regner hadn’t eaten all day, so after procrastinating for hours, I decided to go buy something because there is NOTHING to eat here. So I drive all the way to the nearest shopping center to buy myself some food. When I’m waiting in line something in my brain goes Ding.
Ding.
My wallet is inside my bookbag.
My bookbag is in the apartment.
I have no way to pay for food.
So I had to drive back to the apartment to get my wallet, right? I’m starving at this point, by the way. How I managed to survive is beyond me. As I arrive at the apartment, I wait for the elevator. Please allow me to talk a bit about this elevator.
The apartment complex has 6 stories. The elevator takes approximately seventeen years to get from floor to floor. It is the slowest elevator I have ever come across. So after waiting 102 years for this elevator to reach the ground floor, I’m forced to wait an additional 102 years for it to take me to the 6th floor. This makes me the first human to go without food for over 204 years. I’m quite special, scientists believe.
BACK to the story. I go inside the apartment and look for my bookbag, and after rumaging through all its contents I notice that my wallet isn’t inside. This meant it was in my car all along. It was under the seat. Insert stupid face HERE. Thank yaw. You know how sometimes you feel like you’re being so stupid, a mysterious force should release all its wrath upon you and kill you? That’s what it felt like this afternoon. If you haven’t had the pleasure of feeling this way, then lucky you. This just probably means you carry your wallet with you at all times, unlike some other people. Holla what.
So yes, I called my mother to tell her and she found it amusing to see me going through so much trouble finding food in my own island. I guess she’s right. If and when I move to the United Kingdom, these things are bound to happen with ever increasing frequency. The whole dollar/pound/euro thing is going to catch up with me eventually. What will happen when I only have quarters on me? I’m sure the Burger King people will not be too pleased, as they will want me to pay in pounds or euros. I will have to resort to the noble art of tap dancing on the street. It’s good pay for not that much effort. All I need are tap dancing lessons. That’s it, I’m making a list.
-Tap dancing lessons (so I impress people)
-Hat (so people can drop euros or pounds in)
-Tap dancing shoes (because Lord knows you can’t tap dance with colorful Pumas)
-A good fan base (that have my back and throw me money when Reggles is in need)
Be my fan?
=) xReggles
