Last time Oz went away on vacation, I told him over the phone “Don’t worry about Oziz while you’re away. I’ll blog and hold down the fort.” Immediately after that, Oziz’s bandwith was exceeded and the site was down for like 98732 days. Do you remember? Right then. I was like “OH NO, Oz is going to kill me! I exceeded the bandwith!” and then after that, there were earthquakes and tornados, plagues and disease, the moon was covered in cheese, and the polar ice caps melted completely. It was utter disaster.

Well Oz is away in Georgia, so this time I didn’t actually say “I’ll hold down the fort” as though not to jinx it. And here we are. So Oz comes next week and I have a kajillion things to do. Paint. Paint is dire. See, my apartment has these two horrible maroon walls that. don’t. really. match.

And they need to die.

So I shall go hunt for the perfect color (although I already think I have found it) and buy paint to kill the evil maroon wall because, let’s face it, it’s truly evil. Was looking for a shaggy carpet. That went well. Apparently a 4′x6′ shaggy carpet is only $395. I could buy a sheep and shave it myself for that much money. Granted, it wouldn’t be QUITE the same thing, but hey. Shag is shag. So we’ll make do without the shaggy carpet. Until I can steal one or something [I am KIDDING, father.]. My dad is reading Oziz and now I must be extra careful so that he doesn’t think I’m a delinquent. I have no plans of stealing a shaggy carpet. Ahem. However, I AM trying to find someone who steals chandelier lamps. :) I would like an early birthday present, thank you.

Moving on to cleanliness. My apartment doesn’t have a VISIBLE carpet, but I’ve come to find over the last few weeks that it does, however, have a camouflaged carpet. Of dirt. It is impossible to walk barefoot in my apartment now-a-days as your feet would acquire a… hmm… BLACK hue. I kid you not. Soooooo, Reggles has brought mummy’s R2D2 Vaccum Cleaner to scoop up the black dirt “carpet”. I am very much looking forward to the cleaning that I will have to do. Ahem. Not.

So I was wondering, does anyone want to come over and clean for me? I’ll give you soda =)… Yes? Message me, please and thank you.

xoReggles

I shall be GOing to America tomorrow morning as the first leg of my adventure to Puerto Rico. First I’ll be in Detroit for a family wedding. Then heading down to Georgia with my family again. It is from there that I head to Puerto Rico to shake hands with my dude Regner, on September 4th! It’s going to be awesome.

So far I havn’t packed much, so I must get on it! Might see some of you soon then… can’t wait x

I was talking to my friend, Saritza, on the phone and she said to me, “Renzo, I need you to give me tips on how to meet people. I want to know how you do it.” She calls me Renzo. Actually, she calls me Renzo Piano, who is a famous architect. Hee. I call her Saha Hari after the famous architect Zaha Hadid. It’s a lovely play on words derived from our real names and we both enjoy it very much. We’re just funny nerdy people like that. Ok, it’s only funny if you know what I’m talking about, otherwise it’s like “Eh?” So I’ll just stop, thank you. I was just saying. Don’t hate.

So Renzo loves meeting people. I just do. I told her, “Sari, you just have to go up to the people who interest you and ask what you want to know. Some will look at you weird, but once in a while, someone worth your time will pop up. You just have to be creative about it.” So then we proceeded to run to the elevator where I showed her how to strike up conversation with random strangers. We met two lovely girls on our way down to the floor B1, but that’s just so that I could prove my point.

It’s true, you know. Once in a while someone worth your time pops up. It’s like lightning striking the same spot twice, really. And also, it works, both, in real life and online. The internet is just a crazy thing. You meet all sorts of people and some freaks too. Not too long ago I got a message from this chick in a thong, but it was really gross and I didn’t respond. Not interested, thank yaw. It’s a different world, the internet.

Once I got a message from a guy saying “I wish I could get to know you better.” I responded, “No, you don’t.” and that was the end of THAT friendship. I was rude, I admit it. I no longer do that. Well, except to this one girl who claimed to be the famous model Adriana Lima. I messaged her saying, “You are NOT Adriana Lima. You can’t even speak Portuguese –which is her native language-“ Of course, as my luck would have it, she responded to my message in Portuguese. I bow down to her. Kudos to the impostor, I was impressed.

Not everyone is like this, though. Like I said, once in a while someone great shows up. Someone you can actually get to know, enjoy, learn from, be inspired, and cultivate a real friendship. SO, exactly 6 months ago I check my myspace account and someone cool had found me.

“New Friend Requests!” I read. This is always exciting, these notifications. My heart is especially delighted upon reading “New Picture Comments!” I’m just… yeah. Shallow. Maybe? Ok.

“easy.vibe wants to be your friend!”

-Approve.

I checked him out, and he seemed like a nice guy. I read he was from the United Kingdom and I have come to the conclusion that the UK breeds amazing people [it just does, I can’t explain it, but it’s true] so that worked to his advantage. I messaged him and he messaged me back. We got along pretty good so we started chatting on MSN, which only helped out our friendship.

So here we are, six months after that first message was sent and I still don’t know the reason why easy.vibe wanted to be my friend, but you know what? I’m glad he did… because in two weeks I will be meeting Oz in person.

I could try really hard to explain just how much this means to me, but I really think that I can’t find words to do so. I could babble. I could try babbling if you would like… I am amazed, quite frankly, at how two very different people from such very different places could form such a solid friendship simply through the internet. We’re in different HEMISPHERES for crying out loud. It’s not like he’s in the US or in Canada or even South America, for that matter. Oz lives waaaay over yonder in the Motherland and he is coming all the way to Puerto Rico to meet up with me and see the island.

I was talking to my roommate, Joixa, about him. “What’s he like?? Will you guys get along?” I told her, “He’s awesome… super cool. I sure hope we get along, we better!”

-“Do you guys have a lot in common?”

And as I explained what Oz was like and what he enjoyed doing and what his interests were and all that fun stuff, I completely understood that my roommate was right after she said to me “Regner, wow you guys are REALLY different!”

Oz and I are completely different people! But there’s something that brings us together… a common denominator for both of us, that to be quite frank, I’m not exactly sure what it is! I don’t think he knows either, but I’m sure we’ll find out exactly what that common denominator is as soon as we’re able to hang out when he comes to Puerto Rico. I am very much looking forward to getting to know him better and seeing why it is that we’re such good friends, because I’m not sure what caused our bond. I’m sure Oz blames it on the easy vibe. I, however, blame it on God, Himself.

This whole thing could be chaos. Utter and pure chaos. Oz could hate me and I could loathe him. Things could go awfully wrong to the point where we could not stand seeing each other, let alone hearing each other speak. Oz could hate me so much he could throw my skinny leg jeans out the window [because he feels strongly agains them. psht.] and me being in love with said jeans, would go into a state of hysteria and would crush him. He could end up deciding to leave PR early and I would refuse to drive him to the airport and I’d make him walk.

But this won’t happen… lol. I’m sure we have a pretty decent idea on what the other is like. Plus, I’ve gotten some scoop on Oz thanks to his lovely girlfriend, Jess [thank you, dearest Jess, for all your help. We’ll talk ;)]. As long as Oz STAYS AWAY FROM MY SKINNY LEG JEANS we will get along fine. Ha.

So, yes I have a completely awesome friend who lives on the other side of the world whom I have never met in my life. But we’ve been planning this trip for a decent amount of time… deciding who will visit whom first, how we would do it, what we would like to see, etc. It just so happens I shall be the chaperone first, which is awfully exciting. I will wear a little hat and khaki shorts. I will wear tan boots and have a loudspeaker and drive a bus. All for Oz. It’s important he feels like he’s getting the whole tour and Lord knows you can only do that with a decent tour guide who DRESSES and LOOKS the part.

Enter Reggles.

I joke, I joke. I will not dress like a tour guide. But I’m really starting to dig the idea. We’ll see, won’t we?

So Myspace gave me a really good friend that I value a lot, without even having met him. Honestly, I see Oz’s friendship as a gift from God. It’s awesome. I think it should be said that I have a small fear of meeting online friends… and thus far have been able to meet 5. Huge accomplishment over the past 4 months; a sort of new-found courage, I guess. I just get nervous and worry I will disappoint in person. But I’ve learned to deal with it. HA. So yes, meeting Oz in person is a HUGE deal. He will be the first online friend I meet from outside of the island and he is one of the most important friends I have, so no pressure. Especially since this trip is costing him 89 million dollars. And that’s a lot of money.

However, we will have a BLAST, I am sure. I cannot wait for September to come. Oz and I will meet, we shall be hardcore together, we will kick some serious ass, and our friendship will only get stronger. He will love the island, even if I have to LIE to him about how great it is. He is going to love his vacation and THAT’S THAT. Mark my words.

Every three weeks or so, my Youth Group (EMYM) goes to another town to feed the homeless. You know. It’s just part of what we do to help out others. Because that’s how we roll. So today we went to a nearby town to look out for people who might need something to eat, right?

Right.

Let me just tell you that it’s really hard to sometimes tell who is homeless and in need for food. Usually one can just stereotypically look out for ragged clothes and unshaven faces that include a bottle of alcohol, but it’s not a sure-fire thing, this method. Some people are hungry and they don’t necessarily have to be look all beaten down. I’m just saying.

So while we drove around looking for people who might need food, we see a man who is walking by the street and we decide to pull over. We offered him food right? He said “Yes, if you’d like to, I’ll take it.” So of course we did. He kept talking about some “girl” all the time. I was like … “Hmm, I don’t know what he’s talking about. What girl?” So yeah, my friend kept telling him, “Here’s your sandwich.” and he’s like “Yes, the girl is offering me one too.”

I don’t know WHAT he’s talking about, I’m not even paying attention to his words. Until the following happens.

-”Here, have a soda. Regner, give him a soda.”

-”Okay!” ~hands over soda~

And that’s when the homeless guy said it.

-”Thank you, sweet girl.”

Hold up. What? You just called me “girl”. What’s up with that? I looked at one of my friends in a kind of shocked horror/amusement type of deal. He stared back. This guy called me “girl”? Do I LOOK like a girl? No. So why did he call me a girl? I have issues now. “My sunglasses… my mullet…” I thought to myself. “Maybe he thought I was a girl cuz of my sunglasses.” I don’t know.

I have decided I won’t shave anymore. Feeling sort of flattered right now. Yet. Yes. I’m not a girl. SURE, I have woman hips and I could give birth if nature permitted it, but my face? Yeah, I understand my face isn’t CHISELED like Mr. Brad Pitt but I thought it was obvious that I AM a guy.

Had this happen to any normal person, they would be completely offended, but since I am a quite unlike many people, I am simply accepting the fact that to this man, I was a girl. I’m a girl. Braid my mullet?

xoxo Reggles

I’ll make this just a quick blog to let you know that I picked up AAA this morning for my A levels. It’s a bit beyond me, but then everyone seems to be getting the set! I’m just so happy I’m into Manchester University to study Geography next year. For now, I’ve got a year off! Any ideas what to do, in between working and inter-railing with Regner? :D

Ok. So I have this new slideshow that you can aaaaalll go see. It’s pretty fun lol. See my friends and I went to Old San Juan which is one of the most historical towns in all of Puerto Rico, if not THE most important one. There’s all sorts of things there and it’s just incredibly amazing, beautiful, charming, and all those other good things. An afternoon there is pure magic. Sure, you sweat like a mutha, but magic, nonetheless. You have everything there and it’s really a great way to spend your day. So anyway, my friends and I spent an afternoon there and even though we bathed in our own sweat, we still enjoyed it very much. This slideshow is proof. Proof.

I will be taking oz to Old San Juan when he comes next month. After being there the other day I simply cannot wait to take him lol. I’m sure he’ll enjoy it more than I simply because it’ll be really new to him. Except for the heat, he’ll be fine. Had I not worn tight jeans, I might have not released as much fluids as I did, but whatever. One Pina Colada at the bar with the three fans and VOILA, you are DRY, my friends. [A big thank you to the good sir who prepared the delicious beverage, alcohol free of course, just for me.]

Also, if you don’t bring money to buy stuff, it’s not as fun. At least not for me anyway. It’s just not the same. SOMETHING about walking around with a bag full of clothes just…. ~takes deep breath~ does it for me. Seriously. But hey, it could be a little bag with just ONE thing. It doesn’t matter. It’s just the satisfaction of knowing you got something out of Old San Juan that you can take home. Or maybe it’s just that you like buying things. But whatever it is, Old San Juan has something for everyone. EVERYONE. Except the ugly people. Kidding.

And here it is:

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I received the following in an e-mail (fwd) today:

A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE

The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is….being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life! So be yourself and enjoy life! Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll be alot happier and live longer!!!!