Tonight, an interesting question has been brought to my attention… once again. Then I thought “Hell, I’ll give it a shot.”
“*KingTut: lol im lookin at ure fotos, ure pants r so tight, how do u breath?”
Well, it’s easy. The breathing part, that’s a given. See, oxygen is processed primarily in the chest area, where the lungs are. Cooperating with the lungs are the nose, mouth, and the tubey thing that goes down your interior. I forget the name and can’t be bothered to look. If anyone knows it, please by all means, comment.
Exhibit A: Skinny Leg Jeans
[Regner Ramos is sporting a grand pair of Lee Skinny Leg Jeans, topped off with a gray American Eagle shirt. Joixa Hernandez, his roommate, is by his side. Picture taken in Old San Juan.]
Having said all this, I think that people misunderstand the reeeaaal problem with tight jeans. It’s not breathing, my friends. It is not. Ask the ladies who wear them. Ladies, do you have problems breathing with tight jeans? No? Ok, I didn’t think so.
Corsets, that’s another issue. They come in direct conflict with the CHEST area (you know, where the breathing thing gets done). Jeans go on the pelvis area. There are OTHER organs there that come in direct conflict.
We won’t go into much detail, but yes, organs and tight jeans can be a tricky thing, you just gotta know how to work it, sista. Just. Strut. It’s the sacrifices you make, that shape you into who you will be in life.
For example, say you’re barely 5′8″ tall… wearing baggy jeans will make you appear shorter due to the excess fabric. Sacrificing things like… bending your legs (With Skinny Leg Jeans, sometimes it is very hard to bend your knees) and getting a pair of skinnies will help SHAPE you into a seemingly taller human being.
Exhibit B: Human Height
[Regner Ramos is wearing his friend Saha Hari’s red jacket, and his other friend Gingina’s gray hat, and skinny leg jeans. Ricardo Curet is wearing Regner Ramos’s scarf, shirt, and jeans. Maria Vazquez looks stunning as usual. Picture taken in Regner Ramos’s apartment.]
Notice how in this picture I look muuuuch taller than I really am. In comparison to my bestest friends, Maria and Ricardo, I appear to be… a giant. SURE, it’s hard to bend my knees, but heck they look good.
Exhibit C: Unbendable Kneecaps
Please notice how I seem to be unable to bend my legs properly. I like to think that I do this on purpose… it’s a different form of LEANING back. However, thinking back, I am not sure if I do this out of style and grace, or simply because my jeans won’t permit anything else.
Moving on to the REAL problem with jeans: Heat. Heat my friends. That is all.
I have discussed this with you all, on various ocassions, so I don’t think it’s necessary that I repeat the Old San Juan tale. But yes. Skinny leg jeans fuse to your thighs, calves, and ankles. On hot, humid days, while walking under the sun, jeans can be quite problematic. It is normal, my wonderful friends, that a feeling of DESPERATION consume your entire being. Worry NOT. This is what is SUPPOSED to happen. You’ll get over it with time. If you find it gets too hot, then hell, just STOP WALKING and find yourself a nice big shadow and hide under it until you feel the sweat evaporate. It won’t take long, I promise. So far, I have never had to stop walking, but this is because I am a professional and know what I am doing.
Don’t be embarassed to stop and let the sweat dry. Do not. Oh, I should also mention that the jeans… are so tight that they won’t allow sweat to leave your leg’s pores, which is grand, so don’t worry about having sweaty jeans. :) This is just a bonus.
xReggles
