I’m off, my pretties! I’m flying to England this afternoon and I am VERY excited about this trip. I’ve been wanting to do this for a very very long time, and I’m really blessed to be able to finally do so…. and… and… okay, see, I had this whole blog written out in my mind this afternoon but right now I can’t thing straight, man. I just can’t. I’m sleepy and stuff lol. I was completely inspired today when I saw America’s Next Top Model and saw the Puerto Rican girl….

….Jaslene,take home the contract with Elite Model Management, the 100 thousand dollar contract with Cover Girl and the cover and spread in Seventeen Magazine.

I was like “Hey. I might not have won a kick ass competition, and I may not be famous, and I may not have the cover a magazine, but I’m going to Europe, that’s pretty cool.” So I went on this whole mentail trip and started thinking of some really neat things to say, I swear, they were all cool sounding and serious, but I just can’t remember any of it. How horrible is that? I am a horrible person. I am. Only a horrible person would forget his own gratuity speech, sweet Lord.

It’s supposed to be somewhere deep within my heart still or something, I don’t know. lol. I’m grateful man, I’m grateful. I’m going to Europe for a month with one of my best friends who I am lucky to have in the first place. I’m going to be in EUROPE seeing all of the things that I’ve been taught in my history of architecture classes. It’s gonna be fun. It is going to be fun. lol.

I’m going to look like crap when I get out of the plane I’m sure, so I’m not really looking forward to that. Oh, you know you can’t bring toothpaste on board the plane? Ok seriously, what’s up with that, cuz I know we had the whole 911 issue back in ‘79 or whenever it happened, I can’t remember anymore, but shit, it’s an 800 hour flight and people need their toothpaste you know? Are we PROVIDED with American Airlines brand toothpaste? That would seem like the logical solution no? If you don’t let me bring my own tube of toothpaste, then please provide me with one of your own, because seriously. Morning breath, people. Morning breath. And, yeah, it’s called hygiene.

You know what I’m not looking forward to? I’m not looking forward to facing the horrible Hostel stories I’ve been fed. I’m hoping the Good Lord will watch over me and oz and simply upgrade us to some Hostel that doesn’t require us to share a bathroom with the rest of the floor or something like that. Oh and I hope no cockroaches follow me to Europe. Can everyone just please say this prayer with me… “Sweet Jesus, I ask that you please not let Regner and Oz stay at a cockroach [and here you may start naming other VERMIN and/or PESTS that may torment my existance] infested hostel when they arrive in Europe. I also pray that they may have their own bathroom, as it is dangerous and disgusting to share a bathroom with 30 people. Amen.”

Catch ya’ when I cross the freaking Atlantic Ocean.

xo Regner

I’m not exactly sure when the fact that I’m going to England on Monday is going to sink in, but there are four days left until my plane leaves and it feels like I’m leaving next month or something lol. But no. No, Regner, you leave in four days. And sometimes when I realize this, I feel butterflies in my stomach.

Not so many butterflies, that I feel like throwing up, though. I speculate that by now, I have 3 butterflies living within me. I also speculate that one of two things will happen come Monday. Either mooooooooore butterflies will move in to my tummy, or the three that live within me currently will go CRAZY and flutter like there’s no tomorrow. But one’s things for sure, Monday will be a BIG day and the excitement will be alot lol. I’m meeting some friends that live in England, so that’s exciting. I’m also meeting oz’s family lol. And that’s a bit scary cuz you know… it’s another country, another culture, another lifestyle and I’m like… Puerto Rican, not British. lol.

I’ve begun preparing the list of items I can’t leave without, and I almost forget to write down the word UMBRELLA. Which, taking my luck into consideration, should be the FIRST thing written down. But don’t worry, I’ve written it down now. I’m not stupid. lol. ~is sure that he will forget to bring the umbrella anyway, and will have to buy yet another 16 thousand dollar umbrella somewhere else~

I haven’t seen oz since September, which isn’t toooooooooo long ago, but still, a considerable time. 9 months it’s been, and alot changes in 9 months and we might even hate each other when the time comes. No, I joke. I’m such a joker sometimes. lol. You can ask my professors.

Did you know that my History of Architecture professor actually asked me to “Please continue coming to my class and making your interventions…” because I’m just that entertaining. He knows that without me, class is a tad less fun. However, this is irrelevant in our current story.

Anyway my semi-charmed kind of life has officially gone into full effect. This summer is supposed to be the most amazing summer of my life so I’m planning on enjoying it whole-heartedly. It’s the summer of dreams, or so it seems, because everything is going right and summers like these… will probably never happen again lol. New dream car, a trip to Europe for a month all expenses paid for by my FATHER [hearts], passing all my classes at school, no need to take summer classes, coming back home after an incredible month to be with my family and friends, sharing what I learned in Europe, Gwen Stefani’s concert with my sisters in July, shortly followed by a week at the Hyatt Hotel with my family…. Yeah, things like that don’t happen often. lol.

This means that summer will FLY.

ANYWAY…. now I leave you with the latest conversation between oz and I. Cuz I want to. lol.

mr says:
u know you arrive on the TUESDAY???

[reggles] says:
i LEAVE on monday

[reggles] says:
i arrive on the 5th. i told you this. over and over and over again.

mr says:
ive been planning on it being monday. i was misled

[reggles] says:
by yourself. you have only yourself to blame.

[reggles] says:
we’ve waited 9 months, a day doesn’t really matter much. plus, that was your fault cuz you didn’t check the calender.

[reggles] says:
WOW, I’m seriously never wrong.

[reggles] says:
Or at fault.

Did you know I cannot speak French? I pretend like I can, because I pronounce made up words with a French accent and proceed to tell people that I’ve been studyin French since I was little, but really I’m just a tease. Also, did you know I’m officially going to Europe this summer? I shall be arriving in Manchester airport on June 5th if all goes according to plan. Right now oz and I are at what I like to call The Planning Stage. Not a very original name, but it’s clear and speaks for itself.

Obviously this is a very important stage because hell… it’s the trip itinerary. lol. Enough said. But also we begin to see small and subtle indications of what are going to be, in my opinion, potential obstacles. Things like “Are we allowed shampoo on our carry-on luggage?” and being replied to with a simple “No.” is a surefire indication that we’re going to have a problem. I won’t get into details, but let’s just say that high altitudes make my head oily. I thought I would be able to kind of SHOWER in the plane, but let’s be realistic. Not even I would go through the trouble of that, even if I was allowed shampoo on board.

Other things like this following conversation, forces one to re-evaluate the necessities [and I do mean necessities] in this trip:

oz says:
u can only bring ONE bag ok?

[reggles] says:
One big bag? is this a RULE?

oz says:
yes for the flight

[reggles] says:
seriously?

oz says:
well u can take a small one on the plane

[reggles] says:
so i can’t bring a messenger bag with stuff ON me as well?

oz says:
its 15KG the main bag

oz says:
and a very small bag like a rucksack

——————————————–

Shelly… says:
LOL reg only 2 shoes

[reggles] says:
i can’t really wear the chocolate ones cuz you know they make my feet bleed

Shelly… says:
2 pairs!! and thats the law

[reggles] says:
3?

Shelly… says:
nope 2…one for walking one for pretty stuff and okay ….sandals

[reggles] says:
we’ll see

Ladies and Gentelmen, a moment of your attention please… Oz is missing in action. This post is to spread awareness that Oz has not uploaded any information to Oziz in MONTHS. lol. Please find him and say hi on my behalf.

I remember the day that I almost died… or one of them at least, because I frequently find myself in perilous situations that endanger my life. I distinctly recall that on the Day That I Almost Died, I had been deprived of sleep the previous night, due to an excess workload from my Design Class. A typical story, and we won’t get into it. After my class, I decided that it was best for me to sleep for a while in my apartment, before heading back to my house on the other side of the island. And so I did. I remember crawling into bed… I was dead tired, I’ll have you know. Usually I can go on for long periods of time without sleep, but I’ve come to notice that sometimes in this island, our days seem to carry so much weight on them that some days are more tiring than others. I know you’re probably thinking “yeah we have those too”, but no you don’t. lol. This is tropical island type of stuff.

I theorize that the equator must have some sort of effect on our days and the atmosphere and/or ozone layer or something like that. I don’t know. I’m not a professional, but something’s up. Something is definitely up.

Call it as you wish, that particular day [The Day That I Almost Died] was heavy. It really brought me down. So as I drifted off to my precious world, world in which I am able to fly, meet celebrities, and do other things I’m not allowed to do in real life, I found happiness. The sun was shining ever so brightly outside my glass windows as it prepared to set oh-so majestically as it tends to do on a daily basis. My body started relaxing, my mind crashed, but at a certain point something started feeling OFF. Something was wrong and I knew it. Even though I was not conscious of myself or my surroundings, my body was trying to tell me something. My body was sending me a clear message.

”Regner, you can’t breathe.”

And that’s when I almost died. I struggled to find air, but no… I could not. I was unable to find oxygen. And when my lungs started shriveling up and my brain began to die, I woke up and looked out the window and I realized, “This asshole sun is trying to kill me.” I immediately noticed that I was, in fact, drenched in sweat and that the heat I was experiencing could only be described and compared to as Hell. In my agony I realized that I had no solar protection from the fierce Puerto Rican setting sun… The glass windows acted as giant magnifying glasses that intensified the sun’s rays. And I, in my bed, was a mere ant… defenseless and unaided, with no one to help put out the flames that consumed my entire being.

In that EXACT moment I found enough strength to gasp what was MORE THAN LIKELY the LAST breath of air that could save me. Lol. So as I breathed that ever-so-needed gulp of air, my brain resuscitated and my lungs un-shriveled. Poof! Like a balloon. It was nice, to feel that you know? It felt normal and RIGHT. My whole system started working properly I guess, cuz I didn’t die at the end and all. So yeah… That’s the story of how I almost died last year. Lol.

xRegner

“Friday the 13th of April 2029 could be a very unlucky day for planet Earth. At 4:36 am Greenwich Mean Time, a 25-million-ton, 820-ft.-wide asteroid called 99942 Apophis will slice across the orbit of the moon and barrel toward Earth at more than 28,000 mph.”

Yeah, friggin’ right. Like we’re that lucky. Honestly, that’s ridiculous, MSN is full of crap. I was reading the news for this so-called asteroid impactation and the more you read the more they explain how it’s NOT going to happen. They fool us all with this SUPER NEAT headline saying we’re going to get creamed by a star and lo and behold, it’s a lie. I would ENJOY getting hit by a comet right about now, in fact I would welcome it with open arms and give it a kiss on its forehead, and do you know why, ladies and gentlemen? Because I’ve spent the last 92837 hours hunting COCKROACHES inside my Jeep.

Yes, that’s right. Those foul demons have made a home out of MY vehicle. I swear I’m SO pissed off right now. I saw ONE the other day, I saw TWO tonight, and as I proceeded to spread Real Kill on them, slowly but surely the rest of the DAMNED COCKROACH VILLAGE started surfacing. And these aren’t any cockroaches,my pretties. These are SPECIALLY DESIGNED cockroaches. Designed for cars, these smaller more manageable cockroaches can travel with you anywhere you go. They are like iPods. God’s own little iPods, sent to us to piss us all off.

So tomorrow morning, when I get inside my car, I am bound to have at least 7 brand new “Nano iCockroaches” visible to the human eye. And let’s not even start thinking about the unbearable stench that WILL be my car due to the excess of Real Kill in small contained spaces.

If this isn’t nature’s way of saying “New Jeep, please” I don’t know what is. [And that is a direct hint for my father who is an avid reader of this blog lol. I love you dad. ;) And I am totally kidding. But not about the plague of vermin in my current Jeep. There is absolutely NO kidding in that department.]

ps. Comment or message me to get your very own free iCockroach Nano. I’ll mail them to you. Bloody hell.

Once a year, when the moon is just right, and the sun hits the Earth in a most exact and meticulous position, the stars line up and BAM. Itz yo’ birffday.

It happens rather unexpectedly. For some at least. I include myself in this bunch. Cuz I mean, sure you KNOW it’s coming and you prepare for it, but one day you wake up and it’s now officially your birthday. And it’s like “Wow, it’s my birthday”, you know? lol. Whatever. There are some people who just allow their birthday to creep up on them. I’m serious. Some muthas just don’t even KNOW it’s their birthday. Like my cousin. How can you forget your birthday? It’s the easiest day to remember, it’s up there with the 4th of July. One cannot forget the 4th of July, because the Holiday’s name is the date. It’s not like sayyyy…. Labor Day. Who the hell knows when Labor Day is? How are we supposed to know? But 4th of July is ON FREAKING JULY 4. If you forget it, you’re plain stupid. lol.

You know which Holiday is a bitch to keep tabs on? Thanksgiving. That sucker changes dates every single year. You have to go to the calendar and start counting which is the third Thursday of November and then you’ll know. Let me just clarify, that I have no idea if it really IS the third Thursday of November. I could be totally wrong, but it doesn’t really matter. November is like a year away, so I’ve got time to figure Thanksgiving out.

Birthdays, they’re another story. Those you can’t forget, you really can’t. Has anyone really thought about this? Birthdates are powerful, my pretties. Anyone that’s forgotten a birthday knows what I’m talking about. Yeah, there’s hell to pay, because honestly it is a big deal to most people. I forget birthdays all the time, which makes me suck at life. My roommate’s birthday is June 27, and last year, I called her on JULY 27. An entire month later. But honestly, on my defense, June and July are only two letters apart, so it’s not entirely my fault. I’m just saying.

So my birthday’s coming up next Saturday. I hate having my birthday come around, I honestly do… It’s awkward you know? It’s like you THINK it’s your day, but really it isn’t lol. The world doesn’t really care. So you live in this bubble thinking “Wow it’s my day” but yes, sir, you are alone in that bubble. And you know this! You know it isn’t really your day, but you don’t care. You keep on expecting those phone calls… those emails from your long distance friends, those “unexpected” visits from your loved ones… because you, in your oh-so wonderful ignorance, hope that the world will remember that it’s “your” day and will jump on the party wagon and remember it. In the meanwhile, they’re all thinking “Ugh, it’s his birthday, do I really have to call him?” [and you know it’s true, cuz you do it all the time, so don’t even go there] So yeah, you think you’re a celebrity really. You think it’s a national Holiday like… saaaaay… the 4th of July. Or Martin Luther King Day.

But you’re NOT Martin Luther King. And, no, you haven’t freed your country from The Mother Land, so it’s not really as special as you think. So you go one of two ways about it:

a- You swallow a spoonful of reality and come to terms with the fact that people might forget your birthday.

b- You keep believing your birthday is a national Holiday.

I think I’ve done both and, no, it doesn’t get any easier. Option “A” never really works out, because in the back of your mind you always hope they’ll call. Option “B” just sucks because you know how alone you are inside your precious floating bubble, of which you are the KING of. King Regner of the Bubble.

So your birthday comes and you dress up. Because hell, we all know… you dress up; because it’s your birthday, and it IS, after all, a NATIONAL HOLIDAY. It is an event. You have to look good. So the ladies get out the make-up kit and apply their “face”, get their best high heels and start strutting, all the while their huge earings dangle from side to side, a surefire indication that something important is going on…. And the boys, they bathe in cologne, put on a nice little poloshirt and clean their sneakers and off they go… to their destination, wherever that may be. The mall, perhaps.

And to yourself, you feel cool. You’re like “Hell yes, it’s my birrfday, I gotz to look good. Dayum I look good.” And to the rest of the world it’s like “Those hoop earrings are ugly, why is she wearing them?” You know what I’m saying? If you’re going OUT at night, then yes, dressing up is crucial. But during the day,it’s kind of humorous. Hell, I’ve done it. I understand why people do it. But I’ve also been the one to say “Those hoops earrings are ugly, why is she wearing them-” while adding “-especially on her birthday.”

I’ve been the spectator AND the leading actor on this one man show, so I know what I’m talking about. No one cares if its your birthday when you’re at school, so no need to overdress. You overdress and it’s like you’re going to your own party alone. See, if EVERYONE was dressed up at school on your birthday, then CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU, please invite me as well. If not it’s like… “Yeah HE’S glad it’s his birthday. He dress up.” And you’re the only one celebrating. Not that fun.

So what am I going to do? You KNOW I’m probably going to dress up. Hell, it IS my birthday.

As for the celebration.. yeah see, there’s this fear I have. No one comes. It’s really annoying… it’s the one day out of the entire year that people need to be there for you and suddenly they can’t. So I live under this fear lol. I rather NOT celebrate and not have anyone show up, than having a party and risk them not showing up. Because, see, if that happens then I’ll probably end up crying all alone at the beach somewhere while listening to “Where Is Your Heart” by Kelly Clarkson, because LORD knows, she’s the best psychiatrist out there right now. The hell with Freud. Kelly Clarkson. It’s HER students should be reading about.

Anyway, my birthdays are always disastrous. It’s the ONE day of the year you can COUNT that the good Lord will be sending rain. You need rain for your crops? Ask me to go to your farm on January 13. If you see me walking around on my birthday, please by all means, get an umbrella. Not a rain coat [raincoats aren’t very attractive, and they flatten your hair and they just feel gross]. I’m like a walking rain dance. A Native American rain dance lol. Perhaps it’s in my blood, even though I’m not Native American. But you really don’t know where your true roots are. Puerto Ricans, we’re all mixed, so who knows.

Last year I had a rooftop part at the beach. It was hell. It was hell if hell was undergoing some serious rain. I’m just saying. It never works out. If Physicists are right, and the Earth is undergoing the phenomenon called ENTROPY [everything is leading to detereoration], then I guess that same principle has to be applied to my birthday. I’m getting older, so I’m slowly dying… and my birthdays are always bad, and get worse year after year… Then the big 22 should be no different lol. I think I should stop celebrating you know? I think I should stop celebrating, and hope not to live too long, just to make sure that my existance doesn’t contribute to the deteoration of this planet and its weak ozone layer.

Seriously. Let’s stop destroying that layer ok? We don’t REALLY need hair spray. Good God.

My roommate is missing. I know, I know… she’ll be back soon or something, but seriously I have no idea where she is. She’s been gloomy and stressed lately and she and I haven’t been talking much, so I expect the worst.

Yesterday when we were in the kitchen I, being ever so charismatic, started talking.

-”Joixa, Oz asked me how you were doing.”
-”He did? What’d you say?”
-”That you were fine, that we haven’t talked much and that you’ve been in a bad mood lately.”
-”I’m not in a bad mood, I’ve just been depressed.”

-DIES- Well helloooo, why didn’t I know about this?!

-”What are you depressed about?!”
-”I just need a vacation!”

I guess Joixa has taken UP that vacation, that little princess, because I don’t know where she could be. See, tonight I went to my friend Maria’s apartment to go watch America’s Next Top Model, because LORD knows that show rocks in so many levels. Seriously, it’s candy to me. My sisters and I are in love with it, we are. I love it more though :)

The marathons?! OH GOD! I could sit there all day couch potatoeing, drinking lukewarm water, mouth wide open staring at the tv. I do not grow weary, I just don’t. There’s something about that show that just elates my soul you know? The pictures they take there are unbelievable. And Tyra Banks?? Tyra Banks. How can we BEGIN to comprehend the wonder that IS Tyra Banks? If I had one wish in this life, it would be to dine with the beautiful Tyra Banks.

AND also.. to find my roommate. Ok maybe not to find my roommate, I’m sure she’ll turn up eventually. Hell, I’m not throwing away the opportunity to date Tyra Banks fo’ NOBODY. Especially if they’re gonna turn up ANYWAY. Don’t get me wrong, I’m worried, but I’m sure she’s fine. I’m sure she’s alive. I hope so. Cuz yeah… when I got back from watching America’s Next Top Model, I noticed that her purse, bag, and cel phone were in her room. But her body wasn’t.

Soooo…. I started thinking and at that moment I understood. “Oh my God, she killed herself.” That’s when I started checking the apartment. I went to the bathroom and prepared for the worst, I am not even kidding. I creeped up to the shower and grabbed the curtain and went all dramatic opening it up, nervously expecting to see her BODY thrown in the tub, blood and all.

Thankfully her body isn’t there. I haven’t checked the closets, but hell, who would kill themselves in a closet, seriously. Moving ON.

I DO hope Joixa is enjoying Aruba or Barbados or wherever she’s flown of to on her broom, that witch. Where she’s at right now, butterflies are braiding her curly hair. The moon shines oh so brightly upon her beautiful radiant eyes… and men in loinclothes fulfill her every whim and desire. This probably means they’re giving her food… that girl loves to eat. That’s the life, my friends. That is the life. Anywho, I hope she comes back really soon because the Holidays are coming up and we have to buy a Christmas tree and have our Christmas dinner together and she cannot bail on me for some stupid vacation that she “needs”. Please remind her of this if you see her. I don’t know where she is.

xReggles

Tonight, an interesting question has been brought to my attention… once again. Then I thought “Hell, I’ll give it a shot.”

“*KingTut: lol im lookin at ure fotos, ure pants r so tight, how do u breath?”

Well, it’s easy. The breathing part, that’s a given. See, oxygen is processed primarily in the chest area, where the lungs are. Cooperating with the lungs are the nose, mouth, and the tubey thing that goes down your interior. I forget the name and can’t be bothered to look. If anyone knows it, please by all means, comment.

Exhibit A: Skinny Leg Jeans

[Regner Ramos is sporting a grand pair of Lee Skinny Leg Jeans, topped off with a gray American Eagle shirt. Joixa Hernandez, his roommate, is by his side. Picture taken in Old San Juan.]

Having said all this, I think that people misunderstand the reeeaaal problem with tight jeans. It’s not breathing, my friends. It is not. Ask the ladies who wear them. Ladies, do you have problems breathing with tight jeans? No? Ok, I didn’t think so.

Corsets, that’s another issue. They come in direct conflict with the CHEST area (you know, where the breathing thing gets done). Jeans go on the pelvis area. There are OTHER organs there that come in direct conflict.

We won’t go into much detail, but yes, organs and tight jeans can be a tricky thing, you just gotta know how to work it, sista. Just. Strut. It’s the sacrifices you make, that shape you into who you will be in life.

For example, say you’re barely 5′8″ tall… wearing baggy jeans will make you appear shorter due to the excess fabric. Sacrificing things like… bending your legs (With Skinny Leg Jeans, sometimes it is very hard to bend your knees) and getting a pair of skinnies will help SHAPE you into a seemingly taller human being.

Exhibit B: Human Height

[Regner Ramos is wearing his friend Saha Hari’s red jacket, and his other friend Gingina’s gray hat, and skinny leg jeans. Ricardo Curet is wearing Regner Ramos’s scarf, shirt, and jeans. Maria Vazquez looks stunning as usual. Picture taken in Regner Ramos’s apartment.]

Notice how in this picture I look muuuuch taller than I really am. In comparison to my bestest friends, Maria and Ricardo, I appear to be… a giant. SURE, it’s hard to bend my knees, but heck they look good.

Exhibit C: Unbendable Kneecaps

Please notice how I seem to be unable to bend my legs properly. I like to think that I do this on purpose… it’s a different form of LEANING back. However, thinking back, I am not sure if I do this out of style and grace, or simply because my jeans won’t permit anything else.

Moving on to the REAL problem with jeans: Heat. Heat my friends. That is all.

I have discussed this with you all, on various ocassions, so I don’t think it’s necessary that I repeat the Old San Juan tale. But yes. Skinny leg jeans fuse to your thighs, calves, and ankles. On hot, humid days, while walking under the sun, jeans can be quite problematic. It is normal, my wonderful friends, that a feeling of DESPERATION consume your entire being. Worry NOT. This is what is SUPPOSED to happen. You’ll get over it with time. If you find it gets too hot, then hell, just STOP WALKING and find yourself a nice big shadow and hide under it until you feel the sweat evaporate. It won’t take long, I promise. So far, I have never had to stop walking, but this is because I am a professional and know what I am doing.

Don’t be embarassed to stop and let the sweat dry. Do not. Oh, I should also mention that the jeans… are so tight that they won’t allow sweat to leave your leg’s pores, which is grand, so don’t worry about having sweaty jeans. :) This is just a bonus.

xReggles

“Two babies, no albums and one Kevin Federline later, Britney’s got no more Guinness records to bask in.” I read at the AOL website.

Ok, wait, what? Britney Spears has two babies? I was aware of little Preston’s magical appearance to this world, because all hell broke loose when Britney Freaking Spears became an official MILF [google it, if you don’t know what MILF stands for] but there is ANOTHER offspring? I had heard the rumors that she might have been pregnant, but that seems like what? Two months ago. But apparently not. Time has either gone by rather quickly or Britney Spears is much more special than we all really think.

She carries babies for lesser time than most (or shall I say EVERY OTHER) woman on this planet. You know how different animals have different development periods for their babies? Well this is what’s happening with Britney. Manatees, I believe, have their babies inside the womb for like a year or some shiznit like that. Whales carry their offspring for a heckload of time also.

Now women of HOMOSAPIEN character are expected to give birth in 9 months. Until now.

-Enter Britney Spears-

The first woman to give birth to a full grown human in the very short period of 2 months.