now!
April 24, 2007 at 1:42 pm 
Life by Reggles 
It’s 8:27 am and here I sit in the library awaiting my 8:30 am class. To those of you who know me, you may be asking yourselves “Why are you so ON TIME for your class, when regularly you are at least 20 minutes late?” Now, I will begin to explain why I am so ON TIME for my class.
Last night I discovered that for some reason, my toilet no longer seems to function properly.
That means that this morning, I could not USE my toilet for its intended use. My bodily functions were constrained, and therefore I had to RUSH to school in order to use the public bathroom (that are in very good conditions if I do say so myself, kudos to the janitors). Rushing, under harsh weather is not fun… the weather here is dreadful. It’s been raining non stop for like three days or something. Which reminds me, back in December I lost my umbrella (and then I declared it stolen) and aaaaaaall these months I’ve been walking around without one. So yesterday I decide “I need to buy an umbrella because this week is RAIN WEEK.” So I go to Walgreens and buy, what seems to be, the earth’s most expensive umbrella. So $16 poorer, I am now fully equipped for this hurricane weather we’re having this week, and am happy that I don’t have to get wet anymore… “This new umbrella isn’t nearly as cool as my stolen umbrella, but hey, at least I’m ok.” I thought to myself. And that’s when one of my classmates walked inside the library with, what item? My old umbrella. “That’s MINE.”
So now I have 2 umbrellas.. and I find it rather ironic that on the same day I bought the new umbrella (with no hopes of ever seeing my old one), my old umbrella makes it stellar appearance.
Ha. Ha. Nice joke, God. I know you, Lord, and your ways…
OK, so back to the MAIN story. My toilet. So yes, that’s how my day started: RUSHING to school to use a toilet. And then it’s a whole mess, having to poop in a public bathroom. Cuz you really don’t want people to KNOW that you’re pooping inside the stall, so it turns into this whole battle to conceal your identity, it’s ridiculous. Of course, you start formulating new ideas on how to make the room STINK LESS, right? You know you’ve all done it, come on. Just fess up to it. You think “If I just POOP and immediately flush, the bathroom won’t stink!” Right, go ahead.
I followed this idea and, no. It’s not efficient; the bathroom still stinks.
So now the bathroom stinks. What do you do? CLEAN HOUSE AND RUN obviously. So you do whatever you have left to do, you rush and wash your hands, grab yo’ stuff and leave that bathroom ASAP, because you really don’t want people to catch you in the stench infested bathroom, while you’re still washing your hands. You also head out that door as fast as you can, because you REALLY don’t want people to see you leave the bathroom as soon as THEY go in… cuz they WILL know you just pooped there and that you’re trying to leave as fast as you can, to save yourself the embarassment of knowing that people know you pooped. You KNOW this is true.
Anyway, it is now 8:45 am. And I am 15 minutes late for my class.
RIGHT ON TIME :]
xRegner
April 6, 2007 at 5:53 am Utterly Random, Life, Puerto Rico, Rants by Reggles
Did you know I cannot speak French? I pretend like I can, because I pronounce made up words with a French accent and proceed to tell people that I’ve been studyin French since I was little, but really I’m just a tease. Also, did you know I’m officially going to Europe this summer? I shall be arriving in Manchester airport on June 5th if all goes according to plan. Right now oz and I are at what I like to call The Planning Stage. Not a very original name, but it’s clear and speaks for itself.
Obviously this is a very important stage because hell… it’s the trip itinerary. lol. Enough said. But also we begin to see small and subtle indications of what are going to be, in my opinion, potential obstacles. Things like “Are we allowed shampoo on our carry-on luggage?” and being replied to with a simple “No.” is a surefire indication that we’re going to have a problem. I won’t get into details, but let’s just say that high altitudes make my head oily. I thought I would be able to kind of SHOWER in the plane, but let’s be realistic. Not even I would go through the trouble of that, even if I was allowed shampoo on board.
Other things like this following conversation, forces one to re-evaluate the necessities [and I do mean necessities] in this trip:
oz says:
u can only bring ONE bag ok?
[reggles] says:
One big bag? is this a RULE?
oz says:
yes for the flight
[reggles] says:
seriously?
oz says:
well u can take a small one on the plane
[reggles] says:
so i can’t bring a messenger bag with stuff ON me as well?
oz says:
its 15KG the main bag
oz says:
and a very small bag like a rucksack
——————————————–
Shelly… says:
LOL reg only 2 shoes
[reggles] says:
i can’t really wear the chocolate ones cuz you know they make my feet bleed
Shelly… says:
2 pairs!! and thats the law
[reggles] says:
3?
Shelly… says:
nope 2…one for walking one for pretty stuff and okay ….sandals
[reggles] says:
we’ll see
February 26, 2007 at 6:42 pm Utterly Random, Life, News by Reggles
Ladies and Gentelmen, a moment of your attention please… Oz is missing in action. This post is to spread awareness that Oz has not uploaded any information to Oziz in MONTHS. lol. Please find him and say hi on my behalf.
February 10, 2007 at 3:04 am Utterly Random, Life, Puerto Rico, Rants by Reggles
I remember the day that I almost died… or one of them at least, because I frequently find myself in perilous situations that endanger my life. I distinctly recall that on the Day That I Almost Died, I had been deprived of sleep the previous night, due to an excess workload from my Design Class. A typical story, and we won’t get into it. After my class, I decided that it was best for me to sleep for a while in my apartment, before heading back to my house on the other side of the island. And so I did. I remember crawling into bed… I was dead tired, I’ll have you know. Usually I can go on for long periods of time without sleep, but I’ve come to notice that sometimes in this island, our days seem to carry so much weight on them that some days are more tiring than others. I know you’re probably thinking “yeah we have those too”, but no you don’t. lol. This is tropical island type of stuff.
I theorize that the equator must have some sort of effect on our days and the atmosphere and/or ozone layer or something like that. I don’t know. I’m not a professional, but something’s up. Something is definitely up.
Call it as you wish, that particular day [The Day That I Almost Died] was heavy. It really brought me down. So as I drifted off to my precious world, world in which I am able to fly, meet celebrities, and do other things I’m not allowed to do in real life, I found happiness. The sun was shining ever so brightly outside my glass windows as it prepared to set oh-so majestically as it tends to do on a daily basis. My body started relaxing, my mind crashed, but at a certain point something started feeling OFF. Something was wrong and I knew it. Even though I was not conscious of myself or my surroundings, my body was trying to tell me something. My body was sending me a clear message.
”Regner, you can’t breathe.”
And that’s when I almost died. I struggled to find air, but no… I could not. I was unable to find oxygen. And when my lungs started shriveling up and my brain began to die, I woke up and looked out the window and I realized, “This asshole sun is trying to kill me.” I immediately noticed that I was, in fact, drenched in sweat and that the heat I was experiencing could only be described and compared to as Hell. In my agony I realized that I had no solar protection from the fierce Puerto Rican setting sun… The glass windows acted as giant magnifying glasses that intensified the sun’s rays. And I, in my bed, was a mere ant… defenseless and unaided, with no one to help put out the flames that consumed my entire being.
In that EXACT moment I found enough strength to gasp what was MORE THAN LIKELY the LAST breath of air that could save me. Lol. So as I breathed that ever-so-needed gulp of air, my brain resuscitated and my lungs un-shriveled. Poof! Like a balloon. It was nice, to feel that you know? It felt normal and RIGHT. My whole system started working properly I guess, cuz I didn’t die at the end and all. So yeah… That’s the story of how I almost died last year. Lol.
xRegner
January 11, 2007 at 6:47 am Utterly Random, Life, Rants by Reggles
“Friday the 13th of April 2029 could be a very unlucky day for planet Earth. At 4:36 am Greenwich Mean Time, a 25-million-ton, 820-ft.-wide asteroid called 99942 Apophis will slice across the orbit of the moon and barrel toward Earth at more than 28,000 mph.”
Yeah, friggin’ right. Like we’re that lucky. Honestly, that’s ridiculous, MSN is full of crap. I was reading the news for this so-called asteroid impactation and the more you read the more they explain how it’s NOT going to happen. They fool us all with this SUPER NEAT headline saying we’re going to get creamed by a star and lo and behold, it’s a lie. I would ENJOY getting hit by a comet right about now, in fact I would welcome it with open arms and give it a kiss on its forehead, and do you know why, ladies and gentlemen? Because I’ve spent the last 92837 hours hunting COCKROACHES inside my Jeep.
Yes, that’s right. Those foul demons have made a home out of MY vehicle. I swear I’m SO pissed off right now. I saw ONE the other day, I saw TWO tonight, and as I proceeded to spread Real Kill on them, slowly but surely the rest of the DAMNED COCKROACH VILLAGE started surfacing. And these aren’t any cockroaches,my pretties. These are SPECIALLY DESIGNED cockroaches. Designed for cars, these smaller more manageable cockroaches can travel with you anywhere you go. They are like iPods. God’s own little iPods, sent to us to piss us all off.
So tomorrow morning, when I get inside my car, I am bound to have at least 7 brand new “Nano iCockroaches” visible to the human eye. And let’s not even start thinking about the unbearable stench that WILL be my car due to the excess of Real Kill in small contained spaces.
If this isn’t nature’s way of saying “New Jeep, please” I don’t know what is. [And that is a direct hint for my father who is an avid reader of this blog lol. I love you dad. ;) And I am totally kidding. But not about the plague of vermin in my current Jeep. There is absolutely NO kidding in that department.]
ps. Comment or message me to get your very own free iCockroach Nano. I’ll mail them to you. Bloody hell.
January 8, 2007 at 7:56 pm Utterly Random, Life, Rants by Reggles
Once a year, when the moon is just right, and the sun hits the Earth in a most exact and meticulous position, the stars line up and BAM. Itz yo’ birffday.
It happens rather unexpectedly. For some at least. I include myself in this bunch. Cuz I mean, sure you KNOW it’s coming and you prepare for it, but one day you wake up and it’s now officially your birthday. And it’s like “Wow, it’s my birthday”, you know? lol. Whatever. There are some people who just allow their birthday to creep up on them. I’m serious. Some muthas just don’t even KNOW it’s their birthday. Like my cousin. How can you forget your birthday? It’s the easiest day to remember, it’s up there with the 4th of July. One cannot forget the 4th of July, because the Holiday’s name is the date. It’s not like sayyyy…. Labor Day. Who the hell knows when Labor Day is? How are we supposed to know? But 4th of July is ON FREAKING JULY 4. If you forget it, you’re plain stupid. lol.
You know which Holiday is a bitch to keep tabs on? Thanksgiving. That sucker changes dates every single year. You have to go to the calendar and start counting which is the third Thursday of November and then you’ll know. Let me just clarify, that I have no idea if it really IS the third Thursday of November. I could be totally wrong, but it doesn’t really matter. November is like a year away, so I’ve got time to figure Thanksgiving out.
Birthdays, they’re another story. Those you can’t forget, you really can’t. Has anyone really thought about this? Birthdates are powerful, my pretties. Anyone that’s forgotten a birthday knows what I’m talking about. Yeah, there’s hell to pay, because honestly it is a big deal to most people. I forget birthdays all the time, which makes me suck at life. My roommate’s birthday is June 27, and last year, I called her on JULY 27. An entire month later. But honestly, on my defense, June and July are only two letters apart, so it’s not entirely my fault. I’m just saying.
So my birthday’s coming up next Saturday. I hate having my birthday come around, I honestly do… It’s awkward you know? It’s like you THINK it’s your day, but really it isn’t lol. The world doesn’t really care. So you live in this bubble thinking “Wow it’s my day” but yes, sir, you are alone in that bubble. And you know this! You know it isn’t really your day, but you don’t care. You keep on expecting those phone calls… those emails from your long distance friends, those “unexpected” visits from your loved ones… because you, in your oh-so wonderful ignorance, hope that the world will remember that it’s “your” day and will jump on the party wagon and remember it. In the meanwhile, they’re all thinking “Ugh, it’s his birthday, do I really have to call him?” [and you know it’s true, cuz you do it all the time, so don’t even go there] So yeah, you think you’re a celebrity really. You think it’s a national Holiday like… saaaaay… the 4th of July. Or Martin Luther King Day.
But you’re NOT Martin Luther King. And, no, you haven’t freed your country from The Mother Land, so it’s not really as special as you think. So you go one of two ways about it:
a- You swallow a spoonful of reality and come to terms with the fact that people might forget your birthday.
b- You keep believing your birthday is a national Holiday.
I think I’ve done both and, no, it doesn’t get any easier. Option “A” never really works out, because in the back of your mind you always hope they’ll call. Option “B” just sucks because you know how alone you are inside your precious floating bubble, of which you are the KING of. King Regner of the Bubble.
So your birthday comes and you dress up. Because hell, we all know… you dress up; because it’s your birthday, and it IS, after all, a NATIONAL HOLIDAY. It is an event. You have to look good. So the ladies get out the make-up kit and apply their “face”, get their best high heels and start strutting, all the while their huge earings dangle from side to side, a surefire indication that something important is going on…. And the boys, they bathe in cologne, put on a nice little poloshirt and clean their sneakers and off they go… to their destination, wherever that may be. The mall, perhaps.
And to yourself, you feel cool. You’re like “Hell yes, it’s my birrfday, I gotz to look good. Dayum I look good.” And to the rest of the world it’s like “Those hoop earrings are ugly, why is she wearing them?” You know what I’m saying? If you’re going OUT at night, then yes, dressing up is crucial. But during the day,it’s kind of humorous. Hell, I’ve done it. I understand why people do it. But I’ve also been the one to say “Those hoops earrings are ugly, why is she wearing them-” while adding “-especially on her birthday.”
I’ve been the spectator AND the leading actor on this one man show, so I know what I’m talking about. No one cares if its your birthday when you’re at school, so no need to overdress. You overdress and it’s like you’re going to your own party alone. See, if EVERYONE was dressed up at school on your birthday, then CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU, please invite me as well. If not it’s like… “Yeah HE’S glad it’s his birthday. He dress up.” And you’re the only one celebrating. Not that fun.
So what am I going to do? You KNOW I’m probably going to dress up. Hell, it IS my birthday.
As for the celebration.. yeah see, there’s this fear I have. No one comes. It’s really annoying… it’s the one day out of the entire year that people need to be there for you and suddenly they can’t. So I live under this fear lol. I rather NOT celebrate and not have anyone show up, than having a party and risk them not showing up. Because, see, if that happens then I’ll probably end up crying all alone at the beach somewhere while listening to “Where Is Your Heart” by Kelly Clarkson, because LORD knows, she’s the best psychiatrist out there right now. The hell with Freud. Kelly Clarkson. It’s HER students should be reading about.
Anyway, my birthdays are always disastrous. It’s the ONE day of the year you can COUNT that the good Lord will be sending rain. You need rain for your crops? Ask me to go to your farm on January 13. If you see me walking around on my birthday, please by all means, get an umbrella. Not a rain coat [raincoats aren’t very attractive, and they flatten your hair and they just feel gross]. I’m like a walking rain dance. A Native American rain dance lol. Perhaps it’s in my blood, even though I’m not Native American. But you really don’t know where your true roots are. Puerto Ricans, we’re all mixed, so who knows.
Last year I had a rooftop part at the beach. It was hell. It was hell if hell was undergoing some serious rain. I’m just saying. It never works out. If Physicists are right, and the Earth is undergoing the phenomenon called ENTROPY [everything is leading to detereoration], then I guess that same principle has to be applied to my birthday. I’m getting older, so I’m slowly dying… and my birthdays are always bad, and get worse year after year… Then the big 22 should be no different lol. I think I should stop celebrating you know? I think I should stop celebrating, and hope not to live too long, just to make sure that my existance doesn’t contribute to the deteoration of this planet and its weak ozone layer.
Seriously. Let’s stop destroying that layer ok? We don’t REALLY need hair spray. Good God.
December 25, 2006 at 12:57 am Uncategorized by Reggles
My mother and I went to the mall the other day to go buy Christmas gifts and while we were at Sears wrapping up a lovely fragrance by the beautiful Hilary Duff, we started talking to the perfume lady whose job is to make gift wrapping beautiful.
This woman was bitter. I’m talking complete biterness, from head to toe. You couldn’t really tell until she opened up her mouth to talk about this year that will soon go bye-bye, “2007 better be a good year for me, because 2006 sucked! So I’m starting this next year RIGHT.” And that was just the beginning of it. This sentence was soon followed up by how she wasn’t going to give gifts to anyone this year, backed up by various reasons sustaining why she wasn’t going to do so. So at that point I felt uncomfortable cuz face it… no client really wants to hear an employee go in a rant about how bad life is. What do you want me to tell you, perfume lady??? I dont’ know you! Ok, I hope 2007 is better, ok? Gee. Her tone was bitter, her facial expression was bitter. Everything, everything, everything. Her face curled up into this [rather grand] expression like if she had something foul rotting under her nostrils. It was great.
You know, I think it’s unfortunate when people have bad years, but hey, they’re not all bad. Sometimes you just have to overlook the bad and go with the good. It’s really not possible for a person to have a complete bad year. Ok, well unless you’re Mariah Carey after her movie “Glitter” [which I really didn’t that was that bad, so I don’t understand why she fell under after that movie or why people hated it so much, just sayin’]. My pretties, just… forget about the bad stuff. Learn from it. Get over it. You’ll feel better, trust me, you will. Look at me! I have had my bad times this year, but over all, 2006 might as well have been called The Year of Regner. Sighs.
In January my father [Reggles’ Dad] bought me an apartment near my school and what a view it has.
In February I met an unlikely best friend from a far-away land ;]
In March I fell in love :] ….. With New York…
and upon seeing her in concert, I fell in love with Ms. A. Simpson all over again.
In April I found out that loads of people wanted my pictures for various tabloids. Or something like that.
In May I discovered that I was, in fact, an X-Men. And people were happy about it.
In June I was able to see dear friends and have magical moments by their sides.
In July my iPod fell in love.
In August my friends and I paraded around Old San Juan for an unforgettable afternoon :]
In September I found my brother.
In October two very famous characters mingled on All Hallow’s Eve.
and also… I discovered how much my sister and I look alike.
In November I was able to climb a tree… and be all cool about it.
Furthermore, I met more great friends [among them, a gold lion], that light up my life.
And in December I found out that I was lucky enough to have passed the hardest course in the School of Architecture…. Structures 1. Only THREE more to go.
And since I love you all and wish for you to start your 2007 off RIGHT, I will show you a very important picture from LAST year’s December… And I’ll give you the reason why I had a kick ass year. Last December, Santa brought me my first pair of ladies jeans.
They have changed my life. Now for all of you ladies who have had a bad year and already own a pair of ladies jeans [because let’s face it, you’re ladies], allow me to recommend guy shorts. Try it, and just see if you like it. You can thank me for a great year when you see the results. HA. Ok, no seriously now.
I wish you all a Merry Christmas. Spend your time with your loved ones, don’t lose sight of the most important thing that this Holiday Season brings us: Peace, Love, and Good-will towards men. I hope that the birth of our God brings many wonderful things to your life on this brand new year! Make it count, my pretties. Make it count. This next year will be what you make it out to be.
PS. Don’t forget the ladies jeans, for the love of GOD. lol.
December 22, 2006 at 10:04 am Uncategorized by Reggles
I have a friend that I met on Myspace whose name is Dave. Dave and I go way back to like… to like Spring 2005 lol. He’s an American who moved to my hometown on this noble quest to help his grandparents, it’s truly an inspirational and great story. I’d tell you but I’ll just fast forward because I don’t feel like telling it. I’d narrate, you’d listen, you’d sigh and wipe a tear and then we’ll all hold hands and stop fighting for petroleum. So Dave and I met one day. We even did the whole lunch thing. It was nice.
He’s gone now. Moooved to California. Anyway, when I mentioned The Easy Vibe to him back in September, his immediate response was “Why would I want to see a series about you and your foreigner friend??” And yeah, of course, my heart sank. Our first critic. “One of many to come, surely” I told myself. I also thought that Dave was no longer a potential fan, but rather… a hater.
But since Alanis Morissette, a woman of incredible truth, has informed us and let us know that “life has a funny way” of doing things, I believe her. And furthermore I can’t help but see this theory as an infallible truth, and hope that you see it Alanis’ way as I show you, my pretties, the conversation that Dave and I just had [screen names have been edited to protect Dave and my safety].
FlavoredPez: ok so i’ve been secretly watching ur easyvibe youtube thingy
Regner: ah great.
Regner: please by all means.
Regner: shred it to pieces.
FlavoredPez: shred it?
Regner: yes yes. verbal whiplash.
Regner: crititques.
Regner: your review, by all means.
FlavoredPez: lol no whiplash…maybe get a better camera
Regner: and?
Regner: lol
FlavoredPez: thats it
Regner: that’s it?
FlavoredPez: yip
Regner: Ahem. Well california has done you good.
[It really HAS done him good. No hate mail or nuthin’. Although who knows? After this blog I’ll probably be getting a nice little comment from him. As fate would have it, he is probably also secretly reading “that webpage thing you have” and reads everything i say and write.]
FlavoredPez: the coconut prophetess cracked me up
Regner: We love her.
Regner: I text her :-)
FlavoredPez: lol
Regner: but we love rebecca even more.
FlavoredPez: haha rebecca
FlavoredPez: i sooo shoulda been in this i coulda played hte fat guy
Regner: no, no. that’s my part.
FlavoredPez: i thought u played the comical hipster?
Regner: i know that’s what I thought, but oz called me “the fat man” once.
Regner: it kinda hurt, kinda didn’t. you know?
[If you listen closely to the episode where oz and I go to Walgreen’s to get the hair dye, you can actually hear him insult me. The actual sentence is “The fat man’s at it again.” I resent that.]
FlavoredPez: only europeans would think ur fat haha
Regner: You are now my hero.
[I told you California did him good. Normally he’s not this nice nor sensitive to feelings…. or to the idea of life in general. He’s just… you know. He’s mean.]
FlavoredPez: if he thought u were fat he’d prolly call me jabba the but
Regner: Ok that’s not true. You’re not FAT.
FlavoredPez: ps ur undies cracked me up almost as much as the coconut lady
[’Almost’ being the operative word here. Nothing is as funny as The Coconut Prophet.]
Regner: psht you know they’re hot.
FlavoredPez: lol
Regner: what they are.
Regner: lol
Regner: they’re very European.
FlavoredPez: maybe too euro
Regner: Nonsense.
Regner: no such thing.
[There really isn’t.]
December 17, 2006 at 3:46 am Life, Rants by Reggles
For the first time in a year, I am a free from classes, and I am seriously thrilled. A huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulder.. like… the weight of this solar system has been lifted off my shoulders. And my, do I have wonderous shoulders now.
On more recent events, I had my design presentation yesterday. My “professor” was supposed to get there at 10:30 am, so I could present right? But he wasn’t there at 10:30am. So I just sat there in the class room looking at my presentation seeing all the things that were wrong thinking to myself “I’m getting screwed over today.” Upset, because the clock now chimed 11:00 am and my “professor” still wasn’t there, I began to think of reasons of why he was late. I began wondering why he was doing it, and decided “He’s doing it to piss me off.”
Let me tell you, it is not a fun feeling to sit in a classroom after 9 months of waiting to present, and not have your “professor” there to hurry up and grade you. It’s been 9 months of hell, could we please no longer prolong the AGONY of this horrible project? Is that so much to ask, I don’t think so. The classroom was frigid, like seriously I’m talking subzero temperatures and then some. And as penguins, polar bears, and one or two eskimos passed by me, I began to want to kill my beloved “professor” once again. “Regner, perish the thought.” I told myself.
So there I sat! Like a moron. A real live moron, ladies and gentlemen :) I only had like 3 hours of sleep in like…. what? 7 weeks. Yeah, that’s about right. So just imagine me, not having slept in months, sitting on a black chair in an Arctic classroom with a bunch of blue prints in front of him. All alone. Can someone say autism? “Autism”… Thank you.
“Where is he?! He’s probably relaxing somewhere thinking of ways to set me up.” and in that moment I asked myself, “Regner… seriously, why must you be so pessimistic? Why can’t you give him the benefit of the doubt and for a second consider that something could have happened to him.” And that’s when I realized “Evil doesn’t die so easily.” So obviously, I dismissed the idea and continued to hate him in my silence lol. It was a bit fun because I began to think of things to do to get even. Mark my words, one of these late late nights he WILL get a blocked ID call from someone screaming the word “Asshole” from the top of his lungs. Not very mature, but hey, entertainment is what it is.
So minutes passed and hours passed and my “professor” was way past fashionably late and went straight into Satan mode, because I swear, only Satan himself is cabable of pissing off someone as bad as he did to me. But hey, I could be overreacting. He was, after all, only two and a half hours late.
That’s not alot right? Right. I swear I must have snared at him several times during my presentation, But alas, the “O” Project, as I have baptized it, is finally born and I am quite proud of it. My model was beautiful, if I do say so myself, and my project is very sophisticated and lovely. And as my “professor” said the words “I’m going to gave you the A.’” , my heart was elated and my spirit soared. I was an eagle that was about to swoop down and rip his head off and feed it to its offspring. Eyeballs and everything.
So here it is, ladies and gentlemen… “O” Project:
December 9, 2006 at 8:33 am Life, Rants by Reggles
“You’re in your fourth year and you don’t know how to draw properly. After the fourth year, you’re supposed to go and get a job at an architecture office and if YOU had presented these drawings at the office, you would get fired.” …Or so my design “professor” told me this afternoon, after he was 45 minutes late to my presentation. I simply stared in schock at these words. Not because I was offended, because I wasn’t lol… but because I had simply nothing to say. It was as if something evil had sucked the life out of me. So I just stared. I stared and then told him “Yeah ok.”
He has absolutely no proof I’d get fired. Anyway, he got fired from the Architecture School this semester so he’s one to talk lol. It’s not like he’s any better. I rather have bad drawings than be a mediocre “professor”. Boo. Ya.
I’ve decided on what my Christmas present should be. I’ve been a good boy this year for the most part. I mean… I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink, I haven’t killed anyone and and I’ve stayed out of trouble for the most part. Sure, I’ve had one or two accidents during this year [flashes back to the car crash, the speeding ticket, the animals that have been squashed by the car tires, and to the time I almost got ran over last week], but who on this planet hasn’t. To balance these accidents out, I think I should point out that I’ve endured countless insults from my “professor”. Honestly. The year 2006 has been hard on us, it really has. Ask Joixa. She’s having a hell of a year. I think I’m ready to tell Santa what I desire this year.
bam!
Oh yes baby. That’s what I want. First order of business would be to get a new parking space at my apartment building because it just so happens that my current parking space is minute. My Wrangler fits perfectly because it’s a 2 door Wrangler. But this beauty is quite big, so yeah I’d get a new parking.
“Yes, excuse me Miss… I need a new parking. See my brand new Jeep doesn’t fit in my old parking. Hand over a new parking space, love.” I wouldn’t mind going to the administration office and tell them this. I wouldn’t. The lady that administers to these issues would probably look at me weird and whisper to herself the word “Prick” and then spit on my face. I’d then go into a state of shock once again and simply stare at her, like I did with my “professo”. And then I’d wait until I’d see her crossing the street and use her body as a speed bump. Ok, wait that’s not really going to happen.
You know what will happen though. Right? Santa’s getting me a new Jeep. That’s likely to happen. Yes, it’ll be green or yellow and it’ll be my best friend. I’ll drive it everywhere and kiss the steering wheel everytime I’d get in, just so I can greet it. I’ll wake up on Christmas Morn and see keys under the tree. A big silver bow will decorate the top of my Jeep and I’ll live happily ever after, and trust me, these things are possible. So Santa’s getting me a new Jeep… because that’s much more likely to happen.
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